When I wanted to go to the planet Mars
Everybody told me, “You won’t get very far!”
But look at me now, I’ve overcome all the odds
I’m a planet skipping, astronaut, one helluva broad!

My husband got sick, while I was away
My daughter was crying and I nearly said
“I’m coming home to look after you all!”
But they told me to hold on

And that sneaky Russian man
Made his sneaky, commie plans
While the sneaky Chinese woman
She always had it coming

But I pushed on through
Because of bravery against the odds,

… America and FREEDOM and family values and the good ole stars and stripes or something …

Next the Indian guy
Always seemed on my side
Loyal but complicated
What was he trying to hide?

Not that we’re reducing entire nations to incredibly offensive stereotypes,

Isn’t that right, quirky bumbling African guy?

Now my quest is complete
I used my brains not my feet
Impressive, not least because of all the drama around me!

Most surprisingly, NASA don’t seem to test for people with deep rooted trauma,
You’d think that psychological profiling would be one of their basic criteria
Before allowing people to go on dangerous and very expensive space missions to other planets!