I’m alive
For now
Stumbling in these backstreets
Dazzled and frazzled
Don’t look at me
Fuzzy TV screen brain
All I want
Is to be
Boring and normal again
That boat sailed long ago

The flashes of longing for the past
The before
I entertain less and less
It’s a sting in my tail
A misplaced step I don’t need

So focus back onto the unfocused
More of the same is the only way now
Not like I have a choice anyway
But I'm alive
For now

Where are we now?
Lost our way again?
Stupid
Angry stupid
I can’t even transport myself properly
I can’t even find my way
Out of a dark alleyway in broad daylight

Fuck sake!
But I’m sure I’ve never seen this place
That I’m headed from
Before
I mean,
After the before
Before this, but after that

Listen to yourself

I know these walls,
These windows
These doors
That too blue sky

I’ve been here before
Just now
Just before now
Not before before
But now,

Recently…

The aching relentless hunger
It doesn’t have time for these games
Screaming at me, like an unfed baby
The claws of an insatiable need
Stabbing
Crippling me
I used to have a fight in me
But I prefer to flee

Fight or flight?
I choose to fly every time
Don’t you know it’s exhilarating to have wings
Even temporarily

Have you ever tried it?

Talking to the bricks
Wet with grime and slime and moss
I know these walls
I’ve been here before
This doesn’t make sense

Focus back onto the unfocused
More of the same
Not like I have a choice anyway

But I'm alive
For now
Stumbling in these backstreets
Dazzled and frazzled
Don’t look at me
Fuzzy TV screen brain
All I want
Is to be
Boring and normal again
That boat sailed long ago