More than two thousand years ago back in Judea
King Antiochus figured that he was a playa
Came at the Jews with the army of the Seleucids
Almost wiped em out, that’s exactly what them fellas did
Overtook Jerusalem, then outlawed the Jews
Ransacked the Second Temple, built an altar for Zeus

Into this story comes a pretty badass rabbi
His name was Mattisyahu, had some sons to hang his hat by
Matty took no shit and he knifed himself some Seleucids
But he was old and died, so he was succeeded by his kids
Led by Yehuda they were known as the Maccabees
Call em Hebrew Hammers, cause they made Antiochus flee

Before the Jews could party had to give their god his props
Had to hand it to the big guy before they could spin their tops
The holy lamp had oil enough only for one night
And it’s really hard to hora when you don’t have any light
But a miracle! The oil lasted not one night but eight
So they kept it up for eight straight nights, screaming ‘God is Great!’

Hannukah never really was that big a deal
But it falls in December when that Christmas shit gets real
Christmas songs and lights, Santas everywhere you look
And your friend gets a bike while you get a history book
Jews they get real touchy about staying on the team
But til you hit Bar Mitzvah Santa’s grotto’s like a dream

Some guy in the 70s looking at his kids
Staring at their friends’ tree, feeling ‘shamed of being yids
Must have thought to himself gotta stop em turning goy
Only way to do it is to get em better toys
So now Hannukah is really Christmas for the Jews
All of this commercial shit gives old-school rabbis blues

But if you’re a Jew ‘round Christmas what the fuck you gonna do?
Do you watch the goyim party while you sit there and just stew?
Or light up the menorah have some latkes, spin the dreidel;
Flash your Star of David, find yourself a shayna maidel.
We may not have Santa or a fuckin red-nosed reindeer
But we got ourselves a dreidel and some Maccabee beer