When I was 16 or 17
I started having these paranoid delusions
I started seeing the number 37 everywhere
At first I thought it was kinda funny,

I’d go to a shop, pay for something, then I’d get 37p change,
Or I’d randomly look at my watch and it would be 37 minutes past the hour,
Or I’d be playing a CD and look and it would be some minutes and 37 seconds into the song,

Then it became 237
I’m not sure why.
2:37pm, £2.37, 2 minutes 37,
Car registration plates would have some letters then 237,

After a while it started to become sinister,
A warning,
Something unpleasant,
The number would appear, telling me to take heed,
Or take note of whatever was happening around me at that time,

After that it got really scary,
Coded messages through the newspaper,
Coded messages in the things people were saying on the radio,
On TV,
In songs I was listening to,

What was the message?
I couldn’t decipher it,
Something about me, specifically,
Something about how I had a mission to carry out,
That part was exciting
Scary but exciting
I felt important
I felt like my life had meaning and purpose,

But why me?
It was never clear,

Eventually,
It seemed everyone was in on it (I thought people could read my thoughts)
Everyone was part of this conspiracy (I thought I was on the Truman Show)
This secret mission (everyone was watching and listening to me)

People were talking in code to me (sending telepathic messages to my brain)
I couldn’t understand what they were saying (coded messages in their body language)
There were several layers to everything they said or did (everything became a signal)

Then it turned nasty